I was watching the prom episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the original, of course!) and I started to get emotional. Suddenly I was flashing back to my high school experience, and hope I never went to prom, or did any of the quintessential teenage stuff, all because of migraines.
At age 14 I was thrilled to be entering high school - finally I could choose classes that interested me, and research papers were expected! The nerdy part of me was ready to jump into the next level of education and explore who I could become. But my body at other plans. While I was attending high school I was trying out different doctor prescribed preventative and treatment options, so along with the symptoms of the migraines I was experiencing side effects such as dizziness, severe nausea and loss of appetite, blurred vision, and overwhelming tiredness. Taking the stairs to the second floor for class was a challenge, and I was constantly worried about toppling down them. Sitting in class was often torture, with the sun streaming in and florescent lights. By the middle of grade 10, I was asked to leave the school because I had missed too many classes.
The rest of grade 10 and grade 11 were spent working with a tutor a couple days a week and doing self-directed distance learning courses. It was very lonely and certainly not the pedagogic experience I had been hoping for. The only upside was getting to choose the courses I took - a.k.a. no math or science.
When I was ready to return to a school for grade 12, my previous high school could not accept my enrollment due to overcrowding, so I had to look elsewhere. I was lucky that my cousin, who is two years younger, was also starting grade 12 and I was accepted at the same school, so I was not completely alone. But I was still the odd person out. Two years older than all the other students in my classes, and new to the school, I was often mistaken as a substitute teacher.
Reflecting on these experiences, I feel that I missed out on being a teenager, and the rites of passage that go along with that time of life. I didn't take for granted time spent with friends, or going to a school dance - as those things were not available to me. I will just continue to rewatch those classic shows and movies from the late 90's and early 2000's, and live vicariously through the characters and their shenanigans - as it can't get much better than saving the prom goers from hell-hounds, and your steamy older boyfriend showing up unexpectedly for a romantic slow dance. That's a pretty great prom night, Buffy!
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